


Fears and Confirmation

by LittleWolf95



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Families of Choice, Kat needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 18:14:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21498373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleWolf95/pseuds/LittleWolf95
Summary: Katherine struggles with her longing for family even though she has proof that the others care. This all comes to a head during a meet and greet that leaves her in tears.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 117





	Fears and Confirmation

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I found drafted in my notebook and decided to flesh out.

Katherine knew that what she was feeling was wrong, improper especially for a girl her age. She was, after all, not a child. She had been a Queen and should really know how to shove pointless ideas out of her mind, and yet, she struggled to separate childish wishes from reality. 

  
At least sometimes, anyway.

  
Most of the time it was easy to pretend that she wasn't hurting, that she wasn't reminded of how much she had lost in the past whenever she turned on the television or even went outside. She could pretend that she didn't feel a pang of something whenever she saw families together. Sure she had Anne and the rest of the queens but that just didn't feel the same. 

After all, Anna had been her oldest friend —although Katherine sometimes questioned if that had been more of social graces than friendship—and Anne probably just felt a duty toward her as her only blood relative. The others, she was sure, had a very conditional fondness toward her, one that would vanish if she was too much of anything they disapproved of. 

It didn't matter how much she loved them. If she messed up, she was certain that they would cast her aside too. 

Just like everyone else.

Had anyone ever truly loved her? Sure, her step-grandmother had supposedly tried to hide the events that had happened during Katherine's stay. However, she couldn't help but wonder how much of that was an attempt to save her own reputation? After all, if it was genuine love why had Katherine been kept always at a cold formal distance, even as a child? 

  
Why hadn't she had protected her from everything before it got to the point of hiding evidence?

  
Why had her family just became more interested in her well being once she had a rank? Had she meant nothing to them before then? 

  
These were the thoughts that—combined with nightmares of her confinement and death—kept her awake at night. Although, surprisingly it was worse on show days when not only did she relive the memories of her past but also had to listen to Jane sing about her definite love for Edward. 

Had her own mother felt so strongly about her? 

If she could see her now would she be proud? 

Would her mother be ashamed and just see her as some foolish strumpet that got exactly what was coming to her for being so horrible of a person? 

  
For some reason, that thought hurt far more than the rest because although she didn't have many memories of her mother, there were a few and she recalled the warmth she felt from her and she would hope that—like Jane's love for Edward—that love she had felt was truly unchanging.

After all, that sort of love would never be available to her again.

* * *

  
"Has anyone else noticed that Kat has been a terror lately?" Anne commented one day in the changing room, earning a sigh from Aragon.

"Girl obviously hasn't been getting enough sleep but out of all of us, I figured she would speak with you about whatever is going on with her. You and Anna are the two that are closest to her." The first queen responded, "I would ask but she literally acts as though I am going to strike her if she so much as breaths on me." 

"I'll ask Anna if she mentioned anything to her, she hasn't to me. Maybe Jane knows something since she is teaching Kat how to crochet?" Anne began, pausing to regard the older queen before adding, "don't take it personally, you still sort of act like royalty and honestly whatever Agnes did and didn't do to Katherine seems to have altered the poor kid's perspective of anyone of authority." 

"You're forgetting the other shite heads in her life." Catherine Parr said as she walked in, earning a mutter from Aragon that Anne recognized as being in the Spanish language.

"That was very un-catholic of you." Parr teased, earning a dirty look from her godmother which seemed to break the tension brought on by the conversation. 

"Okay, now I need to know what you said." Anne retorted, earning a smirk from her former mistress. 

"When pigs fly, Boleyn. When Pigs fly." 

* * *

Katherine was thankful that they had driven to the theater that day. She was in no mood to deal with the crowded buses and she couldn't keep her brain from wondering back to the nightmare she had the previous night. She knew she could have gone to any of the others, but she didn't want to be a bother. 

Even if she had spent most of the night crying alone, curled up in her room wishing that the safety she had felt at the beginning of her dream had been real. 

  
But those visions were just products of her brain that failed to grow up and she knew that. She knew that the stupid longing she felt upon waking up would just shove a wedge between her and everyone else if she ever spoke about it.

She wasn't stupid, she knew it would freak everyone out—especially Jane—and that was the last thing she wanted to do. After all, it was better to have something than nothing.

Leaning against Jane she closed her eyes, trying to at least catch a few minutes of sleep before she inevitably was up all night once again with nightmares.

She felt Jane shift slightly, an arm wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her closer. 

"Get some rest love. I'll wake you once we get home." 

The voice was so soft that it reminded her of the touch of a mother. Was it her wishful thinking or was Jane really that fond of her? She wasn't sure but it was enough. Enough that she dozed off rather quickly.   
When she awoke she found that she was being carried inside by Anna and she instantly felt guilty, that was until she heard anna chuckle.

"Relax Kitty, you're okay. It's just me. Had quite the nap, huh?"

The tone was playful, so much like the voice that Anne used with her. 

"Sorry. Didn't mean to sleep." Katherine responded, only to feel lips pressed to her forehead.

"You need the sleep, don't think we haven't noticed you've been skipping meals and staying up all night." Anna stated, her voice slightly firm although when Katherine hid her face in the front of the woman's shoulder, she felt the woman chuckle.

" Keine Sorgen Spatz." 

The familiar phrase caused the teenager to smile in spite of herself.

"Anna? I can ask a strange question without you becoming all weird?" She asked when she found herself placed on her bed. 

"Of course. What's the matter?"

Anna responded, watching as the teen flushed

"If...Say someone thought of someone as...Family although they aren't really. Is that wrong? Especially if the other person wouldn't return the feelings?" 

  
Anna watched as Katherine began to fiddle with her choker, a sure sign the girl was uncomfortable.   
"Well, we're all a family, right? I mean, You're like a younger sister to me. Do you think that's wrong?" Anna responded, earning a negative shake of the head from Katherine. 

Placing her hand over Kat's, Anna turned her full attention toward the teen.

"What is this about? If you wanna talk about it, I'm all ears." 

She watched as Katherine seemed to shrink into herself even more.

"No, it's stupid." 

Katherine replied, only to find herself being pulled into a hug.

"Babes, if it's causing you to lose sleep then it's not stupid. Just tell me, okay?"

* * *

  
  
In the weeks that followed, Anna watched in silence as Katherine tried to work up the nerve to actually talk to Jane about what she had talked with her about. She hated watching the teen struggle through emotions, especially since she was just hurting herself by keeping things inside.  
But she never expected the final straw to be during a stage door.

  
It had been a normal week and their last show before their much deserved day off but it all went to hell when an older man walked past, muttering something about how they were 'painting whores as saints' amongst some other obscene comments that were directed toward his—presumably—granddaughter, making no effort to hide his comments from the former queens.

Anna saw Katherine's eyes darken and how Anne had reached over and took her hand, casting the back of the man's head a look that would have sent him six foot under if she truly was a witch.

"Anna, take her on back, will you? She doesn't need all of this bullshit." 

Anne said, rather harshly although her expression softened as she pulled Katherine into a sideways hug and whispered something to her before gently pushing her into Anna's arms.

* * *

  
Katherine tried not to let it all bother her. Tried to remind herself that people's opinions didn't matter, However, once they were back into the dressing rooms her resolve began to crumble. 

"Is that all people will ever see me as? When will they see that I never wanted...That I...." 

Katherine was surprised when another voice cut her off, taking her by surprise 

"You are more than your past. What happened to you wasn't fair and if they are too thick to see that...then I pity them and the people in their life." 

"Bessie's right. I know it hurts but they don't know you, the real you." 

Anna responded, noticing that the outburst had caught everyone else's attention, including Jane who had taken her time changing out of her costume. 

"What happened?" 

The question was all it took for Katherine to practically hurl herself into the woman, burying her face against her shoulder.

* * *

Jane felt her blood boil when she heard the full story from Anna. How could anyone say such a thing when—especially during that night's show—Katherine had nearly cried on stage? This wasn't some game to gain sympathy from the masses. 

"You know that isn't true, love. How many people reach out to you online?" Jane pointed out after Katherine had finally calmed down enough so that she wouldn't burst into tears again.   
"A lot."

Jane hated how frail Katherine sounded. Did she not see how strong she was? How she not only had quickly adapted to their new world but also had strived to gain as much understanding and knowledge as she could? How she was so brave for writing her song and tell her story every night?

"You may not believe me but You're so brave. Telling your story each night? Writing those lyrics for the first time? Learning how to survive in this crazy new world? You're a special girl, Kat. No matter what they say." Jane pointed out, feeling the girl slumped against her.

"I definitely don't feel any of those things." Katherine responded, closing her eyes "I feel pathetic, I mean you should be out there with them, meeting people. Not in here dealing with my bullshit." 

Jane sighed at that, tightening her arm around the girl a bit.

"Katherine, I don't care about all of that. You know you can come to me for anything at all. At least, I hope I have made that clear." Jane said in response.

"I know...It's just sometimes really hard to talk about some things. Like I know I have everyone to talk to and you don't mind at all, but...It feels like I'm going to screw up and...I don't want to be alone again."

Jane's heart broke when she heard that. 

"Well nothing you can do is going to make us turn on you, but perhaps talking about those fears will help? We still have a few minutes while everyone else is out there." Jane prompted gingerly, moving to run her fingers through the seventeen-year-old's hair.

* * *

Katherine closed her eyes, Anna's words repeating in her head as she worked up the nerve to just tell Jane what had been bothering her.

Would Jane truly still treat her the same? 

What if she didn't? What if she was told that she was being selfish? Stupid even? After all, she wasn't a baby, she didn't need family. She had survived with just having friends before.

Yet there had been no real safety. She had never felt like she did here and now. 

The tears pushed at the back of her eyes once again, although she managed to keep them at bay. 

Anna had told her it would be okay and Anna would never lie to her.

Would she?

"It's not that I don't want to....its just..." She began, hating how vulnerable she felt in that moment. 

"Nervous? Well, I'm not going to pry but I will say this, no matter what it is, It won't change a thing between us, alright?"

  
She wanted to believe that.

"It's just...You sorta...feel like a mum." 

The words came out before she could stop them and she stiffened as she waited for the backlash.

"Excuse me?"

Jane sounded confused, not angry but it was enough for Katherine to mentally curse herself.

"Nothing it's stupid...Forget I said anything..." 

Katherine barely held it together as she stood and headed toward the door, only to find herself being pulled back by then blonde.

"No love, it's not stupid. I just...I don't get what you mean." 

* * *

Jane watched as Katherine whipped around, eyes filled with tears and fear as she glared up at her.

"I see you like a mum okay? I've tried not to and you can pretend this conversation never happened but I...I can't stop it. I tried...I swear..." 

By the end of her mini-rant, Katherine was in tears and shaking.

"Oh, Kat. Why didn't you tell me something sooner? Did you think I would get angry with you?" 

Jane said, pulling the girl into a hug—which the girl returned seemingly as hard as she could.

"I just didn't want you to hate me or think I was being weird or something." 

Katherine replied, earning a sigh from Jane.

"I'm honored you feel that way and I couldn't ask for a better daughter." 

  
She felt Katherine's breath hitch at that before pulling away.

"I...do you mean? Can I actually...Do you really think of me like...that?" 

Jane could hear the suspicion in the teen's voice.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" 

Jane sighed then, reaching out to wipe some of the tears from the girl's face.

"Because I didn't want to make you feel like I was forcing something or just trying to fill the void left by Edward. I honestly never thought you would ever accept that I..."

Jane began, only to get tackled in a hug that nearly knocked her off her feet.

**Author's Note:**

> " Keine Sorgen Spatz." Translates roughly to "Don't worry little sparrow."


End file.
